How I Face My Fear of the Blank Page

Hi friends,

Last weekend, I had a heartfelt phone conversation with a writer friend about something that hits close to home for many of us here on Substack. Procrastination, a.k.a. the fear that grips us when it’s time to turn our ideas, hopes, and dreams into reality, when it’s time to push our art out of the imaginal realm and into “real life.”

Why is this fear of the “real world” so potent?

Because these unpleasant tingling feelings are life reminding us that, if we send our art into the world, we genuinely might fail to get the result we most hoped for.

This is true.

And yet, I know I must push forward. We must.

During my three decades as a magazine writer, editor, and author, I have learned that the consequences of NOT sending my work into the world far outweigh the consequences of publishing. In fact, every single time I’ve put my work into the world, my life has improved.

Through publishing my writing, I’ve

1. created more connection with people.
2. learned through letters and emails that my work has helped other people.
3. gotten more business as a memoir coach and editor.It’s always a win. Always. And yet, the fear returns with each new project. Thirty years of experience doesn’t obliterate the X-Factor, the always-there negative voices.

And, yes, it’s happening again this month as I work on the proposal for my next book. I know mostly what I am writing about. But this project is taking its sweet time to be born. And I still occasionally find myself spinning.

I slip into that imaginal realm where my work doesn’t exist as something real but instead exists as a perfect Platonic ideal. I obsess on all the different approaches I could take to write this book. I think about all the extra research I could do to get ready to write the book.

But it’s pure idealism.

When this happens, I’m stuck in the world of possibilities, not the world of reality.

I’m wasting time imagining and re-imagining the perfect book rather than putting pen to paper and writing the book I can write. The realbook. The book that will be covered with warts and blemishes and outright mistakes. The book that might get criticized by people who aren’t the right audience for it.

I want you to know that three decades of real-world publishing experience doesn’t make this fear go away. We writers are always putting our necks on the line. That is, if you are doing honest, good work and getting real with yourself and your readers.

I dare say that putting art into the world takes spiritual courage. We are asking the universe to support us. And we fear it might not.

And so, I am leaning on what is also true: When I take the risk, I always receive a meaningful, if mysterious, boon in return.

My path in life is to be a seeker, an inner adventurer. By this I mean that I don’t adhere to any particular religious dogma.

But I do sometimes read the Bible when I drink my morning coffee. And when I do, I always learn curious and meaningful things.

The other day, I re-read those famous lines that Jesus spoke in the Gospel of Matthew: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I’ve been meditating on these words. I ask, What do these lines have to teach me? What do they mean beyond the “easy” answer that all you have to do is ask God for a new car and God will give it to you.

Here’s where I’ve landed: These words say something important about how life works. I suspect they say something about the universe’s intrinsic shape—and how art works, too.

If we earnestly send our work into the world, then the Universe, the Great Other, Your Higher Power, Whatever You Call It, will give you something positive in return.

No, it won’t assure you a best-seller or even a book deal. But you will reap a reward that will mean something, and you will grow.

Stated another way, if you take yourself seriously and do the work, good stuff will happen.

And if you don’t put your work into the world, the odds of your reaping something of value are pretty slim indeed.

So, back to writing. Whenever I procrastinate, I try to remember that aiming sincerely and taking micro steps toward completion will lead me to the Promised Land.

(This is a lot of spiritual verbage for one newsletter!)

I remind myself that a writer’s real work lies in the writing, even when unclear about my book’s structure. I trust that I will figure it out along the way. Writing stories from different periods without worrying about how they fit together is far more productive than endlessly imagining a perfect book.

Does this resonate with you?

If there’s a message in this for you, I hope to normalize that it’s okay to spin in doubt—I’m doing it right now.

I hope that sharing my struggle can be a reminder to you that the only way to overcome fear and doubt is to keep writing and trust that clarity will come.

Oh, and I must also remember to turn off my editor’s mind! Sometimes, we need to keep writing even when we know what’s coming out of our typing fingers is crap. The only way through is through, as the cliché states.

So, today I commit to allowing myself to write crap, and I’m going to trust that the good stuff, the gold, will emerge from the process.

Here’s something else I remind myself of: I WILL have to rewrite.

I write better and I write more when I accept the painful truth that I will rework almost everything I write.

There’s peace in this understanding. Clarity reveals itself through writing, not thinking, outlining, or reading.

Ultimately, writing is alchemical, not logical.

I know my book’s inner logic will reveal itself by writing.

OK, here’s the big takeaway: Writing isn’t easy, and no amount of planning can spare us from the pain of drafting chapters that aren’t good yet. In writing and life, I struggle with this constantly—staying the course, doing the work, and not over-intellectualizing.

Lean into the faith and doing the work. Your project will become the book you are meant to write, even if it’s not the ideal book your ego imagines yourself writing.

This is my struggle, and I hope sharing it helps someone else.

Keep writing, keep trusting, and let’s figure this out together.

Best,

Brad

This is Enlightened-ish, my dispatch about how we can brave the wilderness of these tough, post-modern, hyper-capitalist times…together. It’s about storytelling,

healing, adventure, the human heart, and the pursuit of the sacred and the holy, too.

Who am I? I’m the author of the new memoir, Into the Soul of the World: My Journey to Healing, and a longtime journalist with bylines in the New York Times, Newsweek, Wired, GQ, National Geographic, Travel + Leisure, and Outside where I was a senior editor. I live in Boulder, Colorado, where I write books and articles, edit books, coach aspiring memoirists, and practice yoga and tossing sticks into the lake for my dog to retrieve.

If you haven’t bought my memoir, Into the Soul of the World: My Journey to Healing, yet, I hope you will.

Here’s what author Hampton Sides wrote about it:

“Brad Wetzler has led the very definition of an adventurous life, but in Into the Soul of the World, he gives an unflinching account of his interior adventures. Wetzler’s soulful quest, by turns anguished and transcendent, will resonate with readers around the world who struggle to find purpose and a sense of the holy in the ambient jitter of the digital age.”

This is Enlightened-ish with Brad Wetzler, my dispatch about how we can brave the wilderness of these tough, post-modern, hyper-capitalist times…together. It’s about storytelling, healing, adventure, the human heart, and the pursuit of the sacred and the holy, too.

Who am I? I’m the author of the new memoir, Into the Soul of the World: My Journey to Healing, and a longtime journalist with bylines in the New York Times, Newsweek, Wired, GQ, National Geographic, Travel + Leisure, and Outside where I was a senior editor and a longtime contributing editor.

Do you desire to learn how to write a memoir? Or would you simply love to know how to write about your life for your family, friends, or your own personal growth? I teach a five-week course called “Memoir Writing for Beginners and Intermediates.”

Read about it at bradwetzler.com or email me at brad@bradwetzler.com

I’d love to tell you more about it.